The holiday period has gone by in a slow flash. There was no cross country travel this year as was still a bit unrealistic to afford it in time and currency. I don't do real well in the cold for too long without my extra fur. It was a different treat to enjoy this place and people for this season. Even though I progress towards normalcy, there is also this process of defining what that is to be. It was OK not to do the crowded travel to cold country at least for this time around. Maybe next year there will be a bettered state of preparedness and recovery to take on that trip. More leg warmers then and now.
The skin is still morphing. There have been odd sensations as more activity occurs. Muscles being re- invited to use and some strange tinges that need stretching work. Also a certain number of times that the skin re opens or "self releases" which is another round of healing involved. I am still hopeful that there will be final closure at some point. It always seems so close and then recedes to this fragile state; each time I think there is improvement. Probably some hyper granulating (thickening) happening too. It is slowly getting "tougher" and "more flexible". It is so much improved and the look is more normal. I certainly do wish it could be like it once was, but adjust one must. These nagging spots that were so hard are getting more pliable. Very few red scars left. If just these last several "spots" would cease (which they are doing slowly), then it would feel like it is possible for things to move on and into more fun topics. For now, there is still constant lotion use and skin exercise and movement maintenance to do.
There is much one accepts when without limitations. It is so great to be able to step cleanly out of a tub or shower without having to sit or grab onto something. bending my knees was a real chore for a while and that is so improved. It still takes longer to get dressed or get ready and warmed up for things, but that has also got better. I guess I have that routine well established. It is now more necessary to focus on walks, continued action and get back out into the social stream more. Sitting hours on a computer may not be the way. There is more motivation to get out and play those fun and productive reindeer games again.
This past few weeks it was 18 months since release from the hospital. I found myself on the other side of the wall in the room I convalesced in. This storage area needed insulation and more organization. It was a weird moment when I paused to think that this was now more possible to do. What a difference a year makes. What I hope another year will too. There is still room for lots of physical improvements both on the dwelling and the self.
Most recently I have been doing those things that cross my path for activity and occupation. It is just now that the exploration to apply for possible related opportunities is realistic. This is a quite the search, as we all are experiencing some challenge in this area. There are some things that are becoming on various levels, even attractive. Full time in management is a present focus. We'll see. There are some opportunities that I am interested in doing. It is now a matter of applying to those that are discovered or appear. It also requires some reflection and planning to define what evokes good interest and service. Lots of ideas are spinning. At some appropriate points traction, does and is, taking hold. It is the only way but to believe that these new ideas will manifest in a positive direction.
More later, Glenn
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